He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
