Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pooping to opera.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize