Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
a search helicopter?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
