Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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