the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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