im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize