Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
