hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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