You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize