Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
