Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
