Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
