PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize