I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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