is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
