first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
