She said her name was "party"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
