And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
