What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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