Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
