Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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