Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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