he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
