My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
What a dumb baby whore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
