john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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