I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
