oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
