He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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