I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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