Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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