I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
