thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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