i jhust puked up my retainher.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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