But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
