update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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