but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hippo gnu deer
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
