And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
