to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
dude. I can hear the air.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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