The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize