I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
