ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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