If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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