All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
