this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
