There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
