her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
