His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
