i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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