The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
