soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
