i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
