That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
