The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
