I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
