is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
