My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i will never coherently bang her
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
