he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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