I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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