Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The air taste purple.
Randomize
