If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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