Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
These tits shall not be calmed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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