Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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