i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
