My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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