she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
