everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
vagina is talking i cant
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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