Someone shit on the floor
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
