Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
