I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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