Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
