you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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