A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize