his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize