Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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