dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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