There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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